A Satirical Look at the News: Sharp, Skeptical, and Occasionally Ruthless

By Robert Eringer

Mar 03, 2026

State of the Union

Donald Trump: “I’m inviting every legislator to join with my administration in reaffirming a fundamental principle. If you agree with this statement, stand up and show your support: The first duty of the American government is to protect American citizens, not illegal aliens.”

Most Democrats in the audience did not stand.

Asses, glued

I had my suspicions about this before.

But now?

This was all I needed to see with my own eyes to know for certain: the Democrat Party does not believe in protecting Americans.

“At least 10 FBI staffers who worked on Mar-a-Lago documents case are fired” (CBS News)

Turns out, the Joe Biden’s FBI spied on FBI Director Kash Patel and White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles while both were private citizens.

Glibness, Hair Gel + Getty & Pelosi

Newsom’s rise reads less like political discovery than guided ascent, a career nurtured inside networks most voters will never see and cannot enter. The memoir asks readers to admire perseverance, yet what lingers is the unmistakable advantage of starting near the summit.

This appeared in Santa Barbara Current.

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“Washington Post Losses Topped $100 Million in 2025” (WSJ)

According to Yahoo Finance, WaPo has lost an astonishing $300 million since 2023.

The paper that brought down Richard Nixon now finds itself struggling to survive in an era when public trust in mainstream media has collapsed alongside its business model.

Tricky Dick’s revenge from the grave?

The deeper story isn’t financial. It’s cultural.

For decades, legacy media operated as gatekeepers of a single national narrative—confident in their authority, insulated from competition, and rarely challenged by alternative voices.

Now audiences have choices. Narratives compete. And credibility must be earned rather than assumed.

“Cuba says 4 killed in speedboat shooting were attempting to infiltrate the country” (AP)

Cuba survives a daring one-boat invasion?

More like a speedboat, ten men—and geopolitical overreaction.

“Russian soldiers being killed faster than Kremlin can recruit them” (The Telegraph)

Vladimir Putin’s forces are reportedly suffering nearly 40,000 casualties a month since November—a rate of loss that would have stunned Soviet planners.

“Moment police officer defends Christian preacher’s freedom of speech after Whitechapel group say, ‘This is a Muslim area’” (Daily Mail)

1964: I was nine years old, arriving in London for the first time.

My family was collected at Heathrow by John Deegan, with whom we were exchanging houses—ours in California, his in London—for most of the summer.

From the backseat of Deegan’s Jaguar, I listened as he grumbled that “this bloody island will sink” if Britain continued letting everyone from everywhere into the country. (The Commonwealth had imploded.)

Fast-forward 62 years.

A Christian preacher stands on a London street. A crowd gathers. Voices rise.

Then comes the line that explains everything: “This is a Muslim area.”

Not a legal statement. A territorial one.

Over the past generation, parts of London have undergone profound demographic change. Entire neighborhoods have become culturally dominated by a single community—in this case, largely Muslim populations formed through decades of migration and settlement.

The irony is unavoidable: multiculturalism promises coexistence.

Yet without shared civic principles it drifts toward soft segregation—communities living side by side while enforcing invisible boundaries around acceptable speech and belief.

History offers warnings. In parts of the Middle East and elsewhere, societies fractured along religious and cultural lines have struggled to sustain stable pluralism, often with violent consequences and sometimes perpetual warfare.

“This is a Muslim area,” therefore, is not merely a complaint shouted in a tense moment.

It is a test.

Is Britain still governed by national law applied equally everywhere?

Can a shared civic identity survive when parallel cultural expectations begin to replace common rules?

“Trump says Khamenei is dead, Iran says he is ‘commanding the field’” (Reuters)

Yup. A cemetery.

“Ayatollah Ali Khamenei is confirmed dead” (Daily Mail)

Ding-Dong! The Witch is Dead.

“Former Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad killed” (Israel National News)

Another welcome addition to the graveyard.

“Khamenei’s death brings Khomeini’s grandson into focus” (Al-Monitor)

Interesting how the world’s worst tyrants always try to make it a family business.

“John Fetterman Breaks Ranks With Democrats on Iran Strikes” (Newsweek)

The only Democrat at the Capitol worth a dime. Fetterman not only speaks his conscience, he has one.

“Vladimir Putin condemns killing of Khamenei as ‘cynical violation of morality and international law’” (Daily Mail)

Too ironically funny for words.

“French President Emmanuel Macron calls Trump’s attack on Iran ‘dangerous’” (NY Post)

It was also dangerous coming to the aid of France after it—all too quickly— surrendered to the Nazis during World War II. But we did it—and saved their ass.

“CBS Austin reporter filmed getting text from boss telling him not to cover Iranian protesters praising Trump and Netanyahu’s killing of Ayatollah” (Daily Mail)

A new low for CBS News, once a pillar of broadcasting, nowadays reduced to rubble. Kudos to correspondent Vinny Martorano for disobeying orders and sticking to journalistic principles.

Donald Trump on Truth Social

“We have destroyed and sunk 9 Iranian naval ships, some of them relatively large and important. We are going after the rest — They will soon be floating at the bottom of the sea, also! In a different attack, we largely destroyed their Naval Headquarters. Other than that, their Navy is doing very well!”

“Jim Carrey, 64, continues to spark speculation he’s gone under the knife as he steps out in Paris with unrecognizable new appearance” (Daily Mail)

Yet another Hollywood horror story: Jim Carrey now looks like Mickey Rourke’s twin brother.