Christmas Certainties

by Calla Jones Corner

Dowager Countess Violet Crawley. Source: thecelebritycity.com

The Case for Granny Curmudgeons

Like many grandparents, I’ve been watching old films – even series – to keep my mind sharp and occupied before my family arrives for Christmas. Recently I re-watched the film “Downton Abbey", released in 2019.

Dame Maggie Smith (aka Violet Crawley), the spine-rigid, politically incorrect granny of Downton Abbey makes the case for granny curmudgeons like no one else can. She’s very old school.

Like me.

She believes grandmothers shouldn’t be afraid to speak up in this age of identity politics, unspeakable violence, cancelling culture, custom, and morals. Crawley brilliantly makes the case for consulting grandmothers even if they are curmudgeons.

Like me. 

The film takes place in 1927, just after the Downton Abbey series ended. It is a sumptuous spectacle of a by-gone age and another example of Julian Fellowes’ remarkable gift for storytelling, creating unforgettable characters and dialogue with brilliant zingers. As in the series, Fellowes gives the zippiest lines to Violet.

 I waited in a long line to see the film when it came out at the Hitchcock, on upper State Street, hoping that it wouldn’t disappoint. It was clear that many of those waiting with me were fans of Fellowes and probably grandmothers. The audience’s guffaws as Violet lets loose, sometimes barely audible, but always with a deadpan stare, were from a generation of grannies that knows a thing or two. And wishes we dared utter what Fellowes permits Violet to let fly.

  As I watched the film, I frantically wrote down some of the Dowager Countess’ best quips, mentally tying them to my own experiences. I even dropped a penny into my pocket to remind me of: “I don’t give tuppence for politics”, Violet answers to a granddaughter who asks about the Irish assassination attempt on King George V. 

 Here are some of Violet’s best:

 “I never argue, I explain. I am an expert in every matter”, quips Violet. I remember my grandmother answering my questions thoughtfully. My mother, short on time, short on patience and probably at her wits end sometimes, would have answered, “Because I told you so!” My Swedish grandmother always seemed to have time and patience for me, and she certainly didn’t know how to answer everything – especially not in English.

 “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit”, Violet quips to a dining partner, although she herself was a master at it. The three granddaughters gingerly smile at granny’s charming hypocrisy. I remember giggling and rolling my eyes with my sister over something my parents said at dinner, which we thought silly or ironic. 

 "Machiavelli is frequently underrated. He had many qualities”, Violet quips to Isobel Crawley, her sister-in-law, whose biting verbal duel, so effective in the series, happily continued in the film. Both women are adept schemers and Isobel gives as good as she gets, responding: “So did Caligula – not all of them charming”. My grandmother might not have known that much about ancient history, but she sure lived history as a Swedish immigrant, escaping European famine in 1894 to come to New York.

 Perhaps, the best of Violet’s bon mots aren’t at all sarcastic. When she takes aside her favorite granddaughter, Mary, to tell her that she was dying, I cried. I wonder if I shall have a grandchild this Christmas to confide in about how much I still miss their grandfather who died last September. 

  As a grandparent in this age of harmful group think, I only want to pass on my experiences to my grandchildren that might help them to think critically. In this age of victimhood and irresponsibility I want them to reach decisions through facts rather than emotion. I want them to respect the opinion of others and know how to use humor without hurting. Above all, I’d like them to know that they can come to me with anything, even if they are far away in Australia. I have e-mail, FaceTime, or Marco Polo… a letter would be nice, too.

I'd like them to know what’s great about grannies – that they are there to listen, especially when their challenged parents can’t or don’t.

Most importantly, I want them to believe, even in these weirdly worrying times, that they have a future and it’s up to them to make the most of it. Most importantly, to speak out intelligently and with respect when something doesn't seem right.

Merry Christmas to all!