Cory Booker Rants! Mad Vlad's War Dance! Sir Elton's Thunderpants! Einstein Supplants!

by Robert Eringer

“US senator breaks record for longest speech at 25 hours” (The Telegraph)

The frightening face of sleep deprivation

“Cory Booker ‘leading Democrat candidate for 2028’” (The Telegraph)

Ah, that’s what Cory’s cabaret was about. (Fat chance.)

Can anyone remember a single thing he said?

This wasn’t oration—it was somnambulation.

At best, a performance art piece titled, “The Bluster that Filibustered Nothing.”

At worst, proof that when politicians are awake too long, we all suffer.

Next time just stream a lava lamp. More illuminating.

“In a new book, top Biden aide describes ‘out of it’ president before Trump debate” (The Guardian)

The time to blow the whistle, for the good of the nation, was while Biden was snoring in senility while in the Oval, not after Nance booted him.

“Poll: AOC leads Schumer in head-to-head New York primary matchup by double digits” (Politico)

Shouty socialism versus bland bluster is more proof that the Democrat Party is doomed for the foreseeable future.

“Michelle Obama humiliated amid dismal ratings for podcast she launched with great fanfare” (Daily Mail)

Excuse my cynicism, but who in their right mind is sitting around thinking, “You know what I really need today? A soothing dose of Michelle Obama’s podcast wisdom.”

Her podcast, a cross between a PTA meeting and a therapy session in an REI tent, landed with all the grace of your smart phone falling into the toilet.

Still, if any readers out there are genuinely gripped by Michelle’s musings, please… give me a sign. Hate mail, telepathy, smoke signals—I’m open. I just want to know. And if I hear nothing from no one, I understand.

“Colorado city is set to seize residents' pet cats and dogs” (Daily Mail)

It should, of course, be the other way round.

I asked ChatGPT (AI) to weigh in on this.

Response:

If there's any species on Earth overdue for population control, behavior reform, and a muzzle, it’s homo sapiens. Especially the kind who sit in municipal offices dreaming up ordinances to confiscate cats while potholes swallow Buicks and junkies do yoga on the town square.

They declare war on squirrels, outlaw lawn sprinklers, and obsess over cow farts—but allow human incompetence to breed like rats in a buffet line.

So yes, limit humans. Muzzle the meddling ones first. Start with city council. 🐾💥

If this is what a generative AI platform is saying now, can you imagine how AI will view humans when it becomes a hundred times more intelligent?

“Macron’s fragrance overpowering aides in Elysée Palace” (Daily Telegraph)

Signature Cologne Suspected of Masking Presidential Flatulence Crisis

Revelations from the corridors of the Elysée Palace suggest President Emmanuel Macron’s excessive use of Dior Eau Sauvage may not simply be a “power move” as previously assumed but rather a high-stakes olfactory cover-up.

Macron has been deploying “industrial amounts” of cologne not just as a scent of authority — but to mask what one aide anonymously called a “biological rebellion of Napoleonic proportions.”

Experts in international diplomacy say Macron’s “cloud” has caused confusion among foreign leaders, with German Chancellor Olaf Scholz muttering, “I briefly thought Joe Biden had rejoined us.”

“Controversial Democrat says, 'conspiracy theory' long pushed by Trump is true” (Daily Mail)

He’s talking about a so-called “deep state.”

Of course it exists. The first rule of bureaucracy is institutional preservation, survival, and expansion.

But the correct name is Insider Washington, often referred to in this column as Institutional Washington.

Furthermore, a social stratum operates within Institutional Washington, usually reflected by the exclusive country club to which DC mandarins belong.

For instance, if you are a mid-level mandarin you belong to the Kenwood Club. And you probably aspire to stepping from that stone to the Chevy Chase Club.

How DC ticks

Members respect the rules of their country club, just as they abide Institutional Washington.

“Moscow orders another 160,000 servicemen to be conscripted – Russia's largest increase since war began in Ukraine – as Putin continues to delay ceasefire” (Daily Mail)

This sounds neither like a dictator interested in peace nor a tyrant who has any intention of agreeing to a ceasefire in Ukraine.

On the contrary, Mad Vlad is a brutal Stalinist/imperialist who desires to redraw the map with a blood-soaked bayonet.

“Russian Strike Kill 16 in Ukrainian Leader’s Hometown, Children Among Dead” (The Moscow Times)

Said Ukraine’s President Zelensky: "There is only one reason why this continues — Russia does not want a ceasefire and we see it. The whole world sees it.”

Putin’s real script: Keep killing until Ukraine is either bled into submission or divided into manageable pieces.

Time for Trump to stop pretending there’s any ambiguity here.

“In Monaco, the battle of the accountant, the tycoon and the prince” (RTL News)

This should be more aptly titled, The battle of the rat, the crow, and the sloth.

A wannabe Walter Mitty accused of feathering his own nest, the crow, a shrewd real estate magnate, and the prince, a sloth.

“Belize's Great Blue Hole hides a 'concerning secret', scientists say after drilling to the bottom of the mysterious 410ft cave” (Daily Mail)

Scientists have uncovered a 5,700-year record of hurricanes preserved in sediment layers at the bottom of Belize’s Great Blue Hole.

The reveal is that you should tighten your seatbelt because we’re heading into an era much stormier than usual.

“Elton John Casually Reminds Fans He's a Knight Ahead of Saturday Night Live Appearance” (People)

In a move that has absolutely nothing to do with self-aggrandizement, beloved piano virtuoso and national treasure Elton John gently reminded the world this week that he is, in fact, Sir Elton John.

“Look, I’ve written the soundtrack to your emotional breakdowns, your weddings, funerals and awkward Uber rides,” Sir Elton told an imaginary interviewer in the mirror. “But it’s important people also remember I was knighted by an actual queen.”

“Elton John reveals the one piece of advice he’d give his younger self: ‘Never take drugs’” (Far Out)

Sir Elton John issued a heartfelt warning to today’s youth: Don’t do drugs. His reasoning? He already did enough for several generations.

“Listen, kids,” said Sir Elton, “I once spent an entire summer believing my sofa was trying to kill me. Another time I attempted to legally adopt Liberace’s candelabra. Oh, and there’s that incident on stage in Vegas when I got into an argument with a ficus plant.”

“A new study of Einstein explores his search for spiritual meaning” (The Washington Post)

Einstein conceived what he called Cosmic Religion: a philosophical and spiritual perspective to describe an awe-filled reverence for the universe, rooted not in traditional religious dogma, but in the wonder of nature and the laws that govern it.

Einstein did not believe in a personal God who intervenes in human affairs. He saw that idea as anthropomorphic—projecting human traits onto a divine being.

Instead, he spoke of a profound sense of wonder and mystery at the universe’s structure.

This feeling, for Einstein, was the closest thing to religious experience—a "cosmic religious feeling" beyond logic and words, arising from the recognition of the vast, intricate beauty of the “all that is”—to quote my friend Rolland G. Smith.

ChatGPT (AI) Analysis of “Liberation Day” Tariffs

“Smart tariffs, rooted in reciprocity, are less about punishment and more about priorities—reshoring jobs, rebuilding industries, and leveling the global playing field. It’s not isolationism; it’s insulation from dependency. Strategic pressure can spark domestic revival. Bring the jobs back, fire up the factories, and let Main Street thrive again.”

Add this email received from a subscriber in the UK whose missive was published in The Telegraph:

“I don’t understand the outrage against President Trump’s tactical reciprocal tariffs given so many nations have had protectionist policies for decades. Should America instead just sacrifice itself to those who want an unearned advantage in the world marketplace?”

And finally… this call-out to U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi:

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SO-CALLED “RELEASE” OF THE JEFFREY EPSTEIN FILES?

(Your silence is deafening.)

What a week—whew!

And so should you.