DISASTER SPECIAL: Prophets Foretell! Volcanic Hell! Hurricanes, Tornadoes Excel! Steven Seagal, Obesely Unwell!

by Robert Eringer

Jun 03, 2025

This post is dedicated to Robert McKee, the master of Story. I attended his seminar (in London) six weeks before the Montecito mudslide of 9 January 2018.

McKee said: “Mother Nature is not your friend.”

I discovered seven weeks later what he meant…

“World-renowned psychics predict apocalyptic end to 2025: ‘The worst is yet to come’” (NY Post)

The end is Nigh!

This is the folly—and arrogance—of every generation: to believe the world will end on their watch.

The world has been here for quite some time. It is likely to stick around for many generations to come.

I asked ChaptGPT for its advice:

Frankly, I trust a Magic 8-Ball more. At least it has the decency to say, “Reply hazy, try again.”

So: Keep calm. But maybe don’t schedule anything after October…

“Fears huge volcano is set to ERUPT amid spike in earthquakes... leaving major US city on edge” (Daily Mail)

Alaskans are readying for Mount Spurr to blow. Frequent quakes are egging it on.

Located just 80 miles west of Anchorage, Alaska’s most populous city, Mount Spurr is a stratovolcano and part of the Aleutian Volcanic Arc.

If it erupts, Anchorage can bid farewell to planes, power, and breathable air.

“Dense smoke from Canadian wildfires is blowing into U.S.” (Washington Post)

Canada’s summer gift of airborne misery is wafting back into the U.S.

This time Manitoba is sending dense plumes of wildfire smoke across more than a dozen American states. From Minnesota to Michigan, Chicago to St. Louis, the air is about to taste like scorched pine.

Add: Duluth, Milwaukee, Green Bay, Madison, Marquette—and wherever cheese is made.

Air Quality Index? Level 3 to 4.

Level 3: Don’t jog… unless you're wearing a gas mask.

Level 4: Don’t Breathe deeply… unless you want ash-lined lungs.

“Why This Hurricane Season Has Experts on Edge” (Scientific American)

June isn’t just the start of summer—it’s the grand reopening of nature’s annual demolition derby. This year, the forecast is… windy with a chance of catastrophe.

Experts are on edge for a few reasons:

Ocean temperatures are hotter than ever, especially in the Gulf.
There is no El Niño in sight to shred these storms before they bulk up.
Worst of all, FEMA and the National Weather Service are running on fumes: underfunded and understaffed.

Meteorologists are expecting 13–19 named storms, 6–10 hurricanes, and up to 5 major hurricanes—the kind that flatten homes and rewrite zip codes.

Bottom line: The storms are stronger, the systems weaker.

“Tornado season 2025: active through April, and May, is keeping pace” (Climate.gov)

April was all funnel clouds and flying cows. May said, “Hold my debris.”

Climate’s not just whispering anymore—it’s full-on yelling, with flying trailers and upside-down barns.

In the Central Plains, Midwest and Southeast—from Dallas to Des Moines to Dayton—the forecast is less “chance of storms,” and more, “try not to blow away”

M3.4 solar flare erupts from AR 4100, Earth-directed CMEs possible in coming days (The Watchers)

The Sun is flaring up like there’s no tomorrow. In fact, it would be yesterday, as in, back to the past— say, the early 1800s.

Why?

Solar flares can knock out power grids, vaporizing satellites, grounding planes, freezing financial markets, and disrupting communications, leaving parts of the world at a standstill for many months.

“Putin’s nuke secrets EXPOSED: Blueprints for Russian bases where warheads are primed to lay waste to Europe are leaked” (The Sun)

Russia’s top-secret nuclear launch infrastructure—designed to incinerate European capitals within minutes—has just been exposed.

The Yasny complex, nestled behind the Ural Mountains, part of Russia’s broader modernization of its Strategic Missile Forces, is now armed with an estimated 900 operational nuclear warheads backed by a chilling motto: “After us—silence.”

Putin’s threshold for nukes has dropped. His doctrine has changed to accommodate their tactical use.

World War III won’t be boots on the ground. It’ll be cities erased in less time than it takes to toast a Pop-Tart.

And with…

“Swarms of drones from parked trucks destroy Putin’s bombers” (The Telegraph)

…a tactical nuclear response from Putin may come at any time.

“Double threat of Cascadia earthquake and sea-level rise could change Pacific Northwest coast forever” (Oregon Public Broadcasting)

Cascadia is sitting on a hair trigger. When it decides to stretch the wrong way—BOOM—magnitude 9.0+ quake, coast drops like a bad soufflé—and suddenly you’re six feet lower.

Think of it as a coastal trapdoor.

If you combine a sudden land drop with long-term sea-level rise, the result is more than 140 square miles of new flood zone.

But the most immediate existential threat is this:

“3 city-killing asteroids could strike Earth within weeks — generating a million times more energy than Hiroshima atomic bomb” (NY Post)

These rock-hard assassins—2020 SB, 524522, and 2020 CL1—are currently orbiting peacefully with Venus, but one gravitational nudge and boom: Hiroshima x 1,000,000.

NASA’s tracking tech can’t see them because the Sun's glare renders these celestial death pebbles into stealth bombers.

By the time we spot one, we’ll have just enough time to write a goodbye tweet.

So, if you're wondering how civilization might end, forget zombies.

On the bright side: no more HOA meetings.

“A Flesh-Eating Parasite Is Advancing Toward the U.S. (The Atlantic)

So just when you’re thinking there’s enough stuff to worry about, along comes the screwworm to mess with your head.

It’s not new. It’s an old horror, beaten away decades ago—except now it’s crawling back due to underfunding, border smuggling, and good old-fashioned complacency.

The screwworm doesn’t just infect. It eats you alive. A tiny cut becomes a grotesque crater as larvae chew through flesh—livestock and humans alike—until disfigurement or death.

Why the comeback? The sterile-fly barrier collapsed in 2022. Now it’s racing north through Mexico—just 700 miles from Texas.

Coming soon to your neighborhood (mid-2026)!

“Clint Eastwood at 95 on filmmaking: ‘do something new, or stay home’” (Reuters)

Clint has declared Hollyweird (as Robert McKee calls it) a disaster area: a creative wasteland bloated with sequels, prequels. and reboots due to its lack of originality.

Dirty Harry misses the days when screenwriters hammered out original ideas instead of generating formulaic scripts through AI.

And finally, the biggest (and fattest) disaster of all…

“Steven Seagal balloons to 400lb: See him waddle around Russia while supporting 'brother' Putin” (Daily Mail)

Steven Seagal has become the largest thing Russia has absorbed since Crimea.

Once a martial arts icon, Putin’s prize propaganda pet prick now waddles around Moscow like an obese tribute to Kremlin foreign policy: bloated, delusional, and past its prime.

Seagal once starred in Under Siege. Now he is under siege, after merging with a buffet of potato pancakes and blintzes.

His last fight? Against portion control. (He lost.)

Once known for breaking bones, Seagal now breaks chairs.

And if he blows…?