Home Cooking

by Polly Frost

(Fair warning: this is not a political piece. Well, not overtly political, anyway. Hmmm…. Now that I think of it, it is a political piece, just not in the usual way.)

Civilization Begins Over a Fire

I believe one of the cornerstones of civilization is home cooking. And not just for how it can feed your family, but how you can use it to bring your friends, neighbors, acquaintances, and people you'd like to meet, together. A hearty bowl of soup and warm bread served with a salad and cheeses will get you all talking and laughing again.

Maybe you'll discuss politics.

Maybe not.

How many times, however, since the lockdown have you invited friends over or been invited to their homes? Not many I'd wager. I've heard from numerous people about how they've lost the knack and the urge to entertain. It's not hard to understand why, given what we all had to go through just to go to or put on a party. Having had to ask whether someone had been vaccinated, having to be asked by others whether you've been vaccinated; it was too damned much.

Having to explain why I wasn't vaccinated was enough to turn me into a hermit. I'd explain my un-vaxxed status and wait for the inevitable Big Silence that preceded the damn-the-torpedoes response: “We just can't have the un-vaxxed in our house. You do know you're responsible for the deaths of millions, don't you?!”

Sorry. All I thought I was responsible for was the death of the chicken they told me they'd bought at Costco for the dinner.

The pandemic is over; kids are having trouble learning; local businesses have been devastated, and we are still arguing over whether to open up State Street. This is exactly what those who engineered Covid and mandated the lockdowns wanted: to separate you and me from our communities. And if we don't get back our rights as hosts and hostesses, they've won.

Do you really want to let them win?

No, I say. Hell No.

Therefore, it's time to get back to home entertaining, and so, as they say way too often on food shows: “Let's get started!” First, I'd like to share my own story, and then some of my tips for getting back into home entertaining.

Crushed by the Lockdowns

I grew up in Santa Barbara and spent my professional years in NYC. When my husband retired, we moved to Santa Barbara in 2016, and proceeded to throw a semi open house kind of party once a month for a couple of years. We'd invite people who seemed interesting and tell them to bring along other people they thought were interesting. Sometimes that meant people who came weren't always nice. Like the woman who asked if I'd made the bread she was noshing on. I smiled. She frowned. “Needs more holes,” she said.

But – as they did with all things fun – the government said “no” to parties during the lockdown. I thought I'd get right back to it once the restrictions were lifted, but I didn’t. I, in fact, suffered a mental and physical breakdown that left me unable to even walk.

One day, my husband came to where I was forlornly sitting and insisted I get back to my old life. “You need to take action, not just wallow in your emotions,” he said. Personally, I don't understand why men think crying isn't a viable action, but I did see his point.

And I wanted to. But how would I cook for guests if I couldn't leap up from the table and create complicated dishes in the kitchen, then sashay back with a stunning platter to rounds of oohs and aahs?

I couldn't. So why bother having people over? What was the point without hostess razzle dazzle? I figured the only way I could do it was to change the way I cooked meals for company.

A Less Formal Approach

Instead of cooking three-course meals, I decided to go “casual.” Rather than sautéing a duck breast or searing a steak, I started making soups and stews which can mostly be prepped the day before. And salads. All of which can be assembled à table. I wouldn't have to get up!

To help me accomplish this, my husband bought me a tabletop Japanese Iwatani burner at Nikka Market in Goleta

https://nikkamarket.com

. You'll often see them on food shows because they allow for easy filming from different angles. You do need something under it to protect your dining table. My husband fashioned a thick, flat wooden board for that purpose.

I was ready to hostess again and have been regularly for a year and a half.

Inflation has made things more expensive but there are stores in Santa Barbara that are still reasonable.

I Love Shalhoob’s

One such store (and my personal favorite) is Shalhoob's Butcher Shop https://shalhoob.com/butcher-shop. Their meat and poultry are superb. Their prices are well within a middle-class budget. And their variety is matchless. Try their flank steak for an easy Thai Beef Salad. Get some of their ham hocks to make the stock for a pot of Boston Baked Beans. Roast one of their chickens, shred the meat, and make it into pure comfort soup using stock you've made with two pounds of their chicken bones. On top of that, you can order over the phone instead of having to find a parking spot in the Funk Zone, because Shalhoob's has a terrific delivery service.

•••

As I said in the beginning, this isn't a piece about politics. It is, though, about something that politics can affect, and as we've seen recently, almost destroy. It's about that fragile entity called community, which when nurtured properly can be something strong enough to hold us together and get us through tough times. Beckoning people into your home – humble or otherwise – to nurture them with food and company is one of the keys to a civilized life and a foundation for community.