No one was as surprised as I was to read this morning’s New York Times’ “bulldog” (first draft) edition revealing the number of indictments and guilty pleas dropping fast and furious among Democrat lawmakers. I’m left wondering how this flurry of legal actions taken against, and surprisingly admitted to, by so many prominent Democrats, will play out in the upcoming mid-terms.
Dare I dream of a MAGA resurgence?
There are reasons to be optimistic.
The first shoe to drop was Hillary Clinton’s “Guilty” plea to the longstanding charges against her concerning some 30 thousand-plus e-mails that she and her associates erased by bleaching and hammering all their burner phones and iPhones into small pieces, just days after having been served with a Congressional subpoena demanding that she not tamper or destroy any of the activity present on the private server she had set up in the bathroom of her private home in Westchester County.
Cascading upon that were the “Guilty” pleas of top staffers Maggie Williams (Chief of Staff), Melanne Verveer (Deputy Chief of Staff), Huma Abedin, Communications Director Lissa (Alison) Muscatine, and Patti Sollis Doyle.
That alone would have made a front-page headline inevitable, but there was more.
Much more.
Former CIA Director John Brennan, who, on July 16, 2018, famously tweeted “Donald Trump’s press conference performance in Helsinki rises to and exceeds the threshold of ‘high crimes and misdemeanors.’ It was nothing short of treasonous. Not only were Trump’s comments imbecilic, he is wholly in the pocket of Putin.”
Brennan had followed up this post with regular comments on CNN and MSNBC (MSNow), calling Trump’s actions “treasonous.” Brennan, after admitting that he’d made it all up, says he’d like to serve whatever time the court’s deem appropriate, “quickly” as he’s eager to “spend more time with my family with whatever time I have left on this planet.”
Brennan – dressed in an orange pantsuit and handcuffed from behind – apologized for his actions and then revealed that his private cache of incriminating evidence against most of the members of the Obama and Biden administration would be available to Trump’s Department of Justice, “whenever they want it. They’re all guilty of so much,” he says, adding that “together we almost destroyed democracy in this country.”
In another surprising development, would-be governor of California and former House Trump impeachment manager, Eric Swalwell, announced that he would be dropping out of the race for governor, “immediately,” and tearfully vowed to “never run for office again” if “they’d just leave me alone.” Swalwell didn’t identify who “they” were, but standing aside his wife and his former confidante, suspected Chinese Communist operative Fang Fang, he broke down after conducting a teary diatribe against “the deep state and those who seek to destroy my career.” As he cried, a sudden burst of what sounded like the release of intestinal gas broke the solemnity of the moment.
Meanwhile, across town, U.S. Senator Adam Schiff reiterated that “there is compelling evidence of collusion between Russia and the Trump campaign,” while being led to a “quiet room” he had been assigned to in the asylum. Attorney General Pam Bondi announced that Schiff’s senate seat would be filled by Oliver Stone until a new California governor was sworn in after the November 2026 election.
In an unrelated incident, sitting California governor Gavin Newsom’s hair gel apparently set off a fiery sequence of events. Reports have it that the well-coiffed governor leaned over a dining table at the French Laundry to snatch the last few ounces of a vintage Cabernet Sauvignon left by an unknown diner, whereupon an open candle lit the gel in the governor’s hair on fire in what could only be described as an “explosion.”
A Newsom spokesman said that while the governor is “Okay,” he went on to add, however, “but his hair is not.” Doctors predict it may take as long as a year for his famously bouffant locks to regrow.
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We hope you’ve all had a wonderful April Fool’s Day!
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