(A carefully considered compendium of contemporary commonsense concerns and [contestable] critiques crafted by an ex-California crusty curmudgeon.)
Shipping Out Soon?
Are any pirates left in Somalia, or have they all relocated to Minnesota, where the booty is easier to plunder? Seems the SS Shabaab’s Captain Tampon is heading for the shoals.
I Got Stoned (Again)
I recently suffered a bout with a kidney stone. If you haven’t experienced one, I hope you never do. Suggest limiting the intake of foods high in oxalate such as baby spinach and rhubarb; and drinking lots of water to avoid formation of a pernicious pebble. If you’re one of the unfortunate victims, you know the nightmare.
After seven years, it was my second go round. I was hoping to get to the finish line without another one. Futilely trying to “macho it out,” hoping the excruciating pain would somehow dissipate, I called a pal to take me to the ER. I brought a bag along because I was constantly vomiting. Nobody there accused me of exaggerating symptoms. I soon got hooked up to receive a fentanyl IV for immediate pain relief – one of four infusions. Knocked that pain straight out. I also got two EKGs and blood draws. A CT scan revealed a marble sized stone.
I was sent home with drugs to expand the exit route of passage. There would be sporadic kidney pain the next three days, and then it stopped. Not sure when (or even if) the stone passed. Due to the pain meds, I was constipated for nearly a week, which makes the whole team unhappy.
The bill soon arrived. For those 4.5 hours in the ER, my healthcare insurance was charged $15,127. My first co-pay is $350. Waiting for more. Inevitable.
What Larry Wants…
Larry Ellison has been in the news a lot. Currently listed by Forbes as the third richest man in the world, the six-time married, 81-year-old co-founder of Oracle Corporation owns 98% of the Hawaiian Island of Lanai, with natives disgruntled. His businesses and palatial homes span the globe. President Trump recently announced a $500 billion investment in Ellison’s Project Stargate AI, which will theoretically detect looming cancer(s) inside anyone and within 48 hours a robotic system will produce a personalized mRNA vaccine to thwart it. Trump insists the enterprise will create 100,000 jobs.
Is that a whiff of (Theranos) malarky in the air?
Larry is yet another billionaire working hard for the betterment of humanity. Right??
This common man is still sore about what Ellison did years ago.
The best place in Malibu, hands down, to grab a brew, shoot pool, and eat reasonably priced food, was the PierView Café, located right on the sand roughly two hundred yards east of the fabled pier. The clam chowder served inside a bread bowl was my favorite. Open since 1990, on November 9, 2003, Larry Ellison – then only the ninth richest guy in the world – breezed in and told owner Chuck Spencer he wanted to buy it. I knew Chuck, and he said he informed Ellison it wasn’t for sale. But deep pockets Larry persisted, offering him such an astronomical pile of money that he just couldn’t refuse. Can’t really blame Chuck. But after the mercurial sale, which floored many locals, Ellison let the structure sit and rot for nearly five years. It was pathetic to behold. He also purchased the old Windsail Club property next to it. The structures were eventually torn down, and the chic, high-end Nobu Malibu restaurant opened in 2012, followed by the $2K per night, 16-room Nobu Ryokan Malibu hotel in 2017.
Check your room for cameras. Larry is a big proponent of a surveillance state.
What Could Go Wrong?
In 2016, the Canadian Parliament passed MAiD (medical assistance in dying), which affords terminally ill people an avenue for a deliberated, sanctioned suicide, administered by doctors. Now a parliamentary debate rages whether the government should expand the law to include people solely diagnosed with mental disorders. Wasn’t it always the goal of health professionals to try and prevent troubled people from committing suicide – not nurture it?
Fond S.B. Memories
I will never forget my first concert at the Santa Barbara (then County) Bowl on July 9, 1983. As we walked up the grade to the amphitheater, The Fixx was playing Stand or Fall. I looked around and was awestruck by the magnificence of the venue. I would return countless times thereafter.
I lived in Los Angeles and Ventura Counties, but my preferred premium party destination was always Santa Barbara.
Maybe we raised a glass at Rocky Galenti’s or the Olive Mill Bistro?
Unsportsmanlike Conduct
I recently watched an ESPN 30 for 30 program about the SMU football team’s unprecedented rise to the top of college football in the 1980s. Those Pony Express teams were among the most exciting to ever take the field, and the 1982 team finished undefeated with a #2 final ranking. However, the NCAA put the school on probation five times between 1974-85 for maintaining a large slush fund to pay recruits and retain players. In 1987, the NCAA cancelled the school’s football program for the season – the first time a “death penalty” had ever been invoked – for SMU’s continuance of paying participants. Strange how what was once a grave sin is now standard NIL and revenue sharing practice.
Are the head honchos at the NCAA having three martini lunches? Why in the world would they not already have a rule in place forbidding a college head coach, such as Lane Kiffin, from deserting his school just as the playoffs are gearing up, with Mississippi in the hunt for a national title?
Rebel fans are incensed, for good reason.
Kiffin was in the drivers seat and should’ve seen their best season through. LSU wanted him as their coach so badly – ultimately paying Kiffin $12 million a season – they would’ve waited. Lane made it all about himself, leaving Ole Miss in the (dreaded interim coach) lurch when they needed him most.
Ole Miss and college football deserve better.
The Winters of My Discontent…
…spent anywhere not in Southern California.
Community Calendar:
Got a Santa Barbara event for our community calendar? Fenkner@sbcurrent.com
I liked it! A very refreshing column. I'd like to see more.