Really enjoyed this, Calla. I recognize much of what you're writing about. I grew up ten years later than you did, in Altadena and Santa Barbara. My family often discussed politics at the dinner table. My mom was a Democrat, my father a lawyer and Republican, although he voted for Kennedy and was invited to Johnson's inauguration. What was different then than now was that California wasn't controlled by one party. And no one ever behaved the way people do now - getting outraged, hurling insults and storming away from the table simply because someone else had different political views. And looking back, we were discussing way more incendiary topics like the Vietnam War, the race situation, the campus riots. But again, no one called anyone else Hitler. No one accused anyone of racism. Everyone was expected to back up their views with facts.
One of my father's clients owned Parade magazine. His wife and he often entertained politicians and Hollywood people in a salon-like atmosphere at their Brentwood home. Parade relied on gossip, of course, so guests were expected to supply that. But there were always heated debates at the table. The children of this couple were terrifyingly precocious little Leftists who grilled and baited you. And went on to be college radicals while forging alliances that ensured their success in the Democratic Party. But they didn't exclude Republicans like my father from the table. And no one was rude to anyone else just because they disagreed.
We need to get back to this. It's not because of Trump that this kind of civilized rearing of children has disappeared. I saw it back in 2011 way before Trump when a Hollywood producer invited my husband and me to his Montecito home for a family dinner. One of his daughters (a militant vegan who refused to eat the food her parents served) stood up and harangued us guests about how badly Santa Barbara treats the homeless. I rolled my eyes. The daughter stopped, pointed at me, burst into tears and ran out of the house and roared off in her BMW. My husband and I were ordered to leave.
No, the inexcusable anti-social behavior we're subjected to today has nothing to do with Trump. He's just a convenient excuse. It's not even the fault of social media. This behavior is completely the fault of bad “liberal” parents who are too narcissistic to bother to be parents. These parents squawk about wanting to save democracy for their children. But they've created the problem. They've raised children who don't deserve democracy.
Your story is fascinating. The “family at the dinner table”reminds me of the movie “The Graduate.” I really relate to this movie, because I grew up in SB in the 60’s and parts of it was filmed here. I used to say the character “Ben” was driving to wrong way on the 101!
I use this movie as an example, because that’s when I think the traditional nuclear family changed forever.
In fact going out on a limb, I think social scientists will point to when the women/mother left the home to pursue a career as to when society started to change…and not for the better.
Democrats forced women out of the home in the 70s under Carter.
Recall they used a pandemic, forced vaccinations, ousted a Republican, brought in Carter and almost immediately inflation and interest rates started climbing at re it’d rates. Lines at gas stations to fill up your car, supply chain issues, etc..,
Just as we saw when COVID hit, out went a Republican in came a Democrat and history repeats.
But now i see children in the workforce more than before helping to pay rent and put food on the table.
Education is already, suffering, now with kids having to be in the workplace what will happen?
Do you recognize the similarities of history from the 70s to current times? Rising interest rates, inflation, supply chain issues, fuel issues blaming the Middle East? Recall Biden blamed Saudi Arabia in the early time of his administration and was snubbed when he personally visited there.
My parents were having a hard time supper I g the family with just my father’s salary after Carter. My mother sought work, which was part time and eventually became full time employment. My siblings& I became latch key kids.
There were more women in the workforce than ever before. With one or both parents trying to clock in their 40 hours of work (at least), many Xers were left to fend for themselves after school.
Appreciate the article, it hits close to home as I was born during the Eisenhower administration. My parents, were lifelong, New Deal Democrats. The ONLY time they voted Republican was for Ike. I still have the “I like Ike” campaign button. My Father too was a WWII vet, who witnessed many horrible things and almost lost his life in the South Pacific.
After the war, my Dad became a civil servant with the US Air Force and remained an adamant Dem as was all his friends and family. True champions for JFK, civil rights, strong military, big government and so on. I wonder what he would say now about his party today? My parents were devout Catholics and believed in church teachings and family. Again, not sure if they would sign off on today’s social construct.
Based on what I know about my folks, I’m not sure they would be welcome in today’s Democratic Party. As Reagan said, “ he didn’t leave the Dems, they left him.”
The Party has certainly gone through some changes, once’s focused on working people, education and civil rights. Now its agenda seems to have morphed into DEI, Gender Identity, Environmental Justice and Grievance. He certainly appreciated the right to peaceful demonstrations, but today’s challenges seem to be addressed “by any means necessary,” whereby violence, intimidation and destruction of property is allowed in order for achieving social justice outcomes.
Obviously, the Republicans are far from perfect, but they have seemed to have morphed from Country Club members to now, the party of working class people.
With the world literally on fire, war in the Middle East, faltering economies and a invasion on our borders, the choice should be clear.
What crazy times, but then again it’s always been crazy times.
Like your parents my mom was a New Deal Democrat but she stayed one until she passed away in 2021. She was a great mom and I never doubted her unconditional love. But when 2016 came and she was mourning Trump's victory, she saw me smiling and said “You didn't.” I nodded. She grabbed her chest and began to wheeze. “I need my medicine - no, don't you dare touch my meds, Polly. Trump! Help, I'm dying!”
I should add that my diva mom was often on the verge of dying but it never stopped her from a good scene. “I gave birth to you. I gave you a membership in the ACLU when you were just a little girl! We boycotted grapes together! I gave you all my love for this.” That was my cue to give her a kleenex. I miss you, Mom. Once there were Democrats.
The funny thing about Trump is his foreign policies in his 4 yrs as president resembled Eisenhower's much more than his MAGA supporters think. Trump is not an isolationist even though many of his followers are.
The Hippo would be spot on for Democrats as it is the most deadly animal in the world.
The good old days when there were families, neighbors and values.
Question, do you think fighting a war that brought the country together helped those values and patriotism? Verse Vietnam which seemed to divide the country?
Merci Frank. I agrée that I have only appreciated growing up in Weston until I returned to Ct. in 1989 after living in Europe for 21 years. Luckily, I found a house in New Canaan and our daughters had a wonderful public education. I fear that would not be the case now. Calla
MAGA (America First) advocates would condemn Eisenhower today if he was president. Eisenhower ratified a series of bilateral and multilateral treaties to contain the influence of Soviet Union and China. He built up the nuclear arsenal and expanded our military capabilities. He prosecuted the cold war vigorously. He even used the CIA to overthrow the Communist regime in Iran, Guatemala and was a big believer in providing foreign assistance to countries around the world. He also sided with South Vietnam and provided them with military assistance which ultimately led to the introduction of US troops in Vietnam.
Just the facts Ma'am, the average donkey lives 30 years and the oldest one on record made it to 64. So your estimation of a 20 year life span is off. An elephant averages 65 years, shorter in captivity, and the oldest ever documented made it to 86. So, your rhetorical 20 to 100 comparison failed here also. Beware exaggeration and obfuscation, the hallmarks of current political discourse. I "get it" you were only 13, but I cannot stress the point enough that honesty and trying our best to tell the truth is the only way we have any choice of getting the nation out of the current quagmire.
Pat, this is more than pedantic and verges on virtue signaling- the 20-100 is appropriate and even poetic- forget the WAPO- lie-ometer On Trump and the scientism that urges a false kind of accuracy and enjoy the beautiful writing of a soul worth treasuring, not correcting-
Nothing like starting out a piece by calling people you disagree with "Animals". Really sets the tone. I'm pretty sure this piece would have earned you an F back in Fairfield.
Bill W: I'm with you but I'm not sure we should expect anything resembling civility or honesty from this outlet. After all, in a recent Comments column someone wrote, "... This assassination attempt by the deep state and backed by liberals is so in our face as to what they can get away with due to the liberal controlled media and legal system." This statement, despite being rife with obvious lies was nonetheless "Like by Santa Barbara Current."
Thoughtful analysis, but I’m talking about the perception the average dope on the street, (including me :) thinks about Communism - control, repression, state dominance - all the stuff the Dems and Blow-Blow Harris is trying to impose upon us.
Thanks to that knucklehead California is a long way from when I was a college kid surfing off the Biltmore pier, and she can't wait to do it to the whole country!
And there is the abuse of speech , the equivocation of “vicious” and “people I disagree with”- you guys are untethered from objective truth- your condemnations are helium-
The idea that what gets put out on this site is in any way objective is laughable. At least it is to anyone who can investigate, parse and digest events without the blinders of partisanship.
Being that the Republican Party has sold its soul to Donald Trump, I’d say a better symbol for the party would be a bloated dead Walrus resembling Trump himself would be a fitting image.
And, lest we forget, who cheated on his wife (who was home with their four-month old son) with a porn star, ducked serving his country during the Vietnam war claiming "bone spurs," mocked a disabled journalist, committed loan fraud for inflated valuations of some of his properties, lied about the 2020 election being stolen (despite the dismissal of most of the 62 lawsuits he filed, even by judged he had appointed), and did nothing (according to Mark Meadows) as insurrectionists, encouraged by him, stormed and defecated in the Capitol while trying to hunt down and hang his Vice President. Yup, I don't think he quite qualifies as an affiliate of the "Party of Lincoln," or of Ike or Ronnie for that matter. Y'all could do a whole lot better.
Or how many of his lawyers have been disbarred (Rudy) or are facing disciplinary action - including possible disbarment. John Eastman, Chesebro, Ellis, Powell. So many fine people.
I wonder if any of your "Jackass" friends are still friends once you express your support for Trump. Are they?
Really enjoyed this, Calla. I recognize much of what you're writing about. I grew up ten years later than you did, in Altadena and Santa Barbara. My family often discussed politics at the dinner table. My mom was a Democrat, my father a lawyer and Republican, although he voted for Kennedy and was invited to Johnson's inauguration. What was different then than now was that California wasn't controlled by one party. And no one ever behaved the way people do now - getting outraged, hurling insults and storming away from the table simply because someone else had different political views. And looking back, we were discussing way more incendiary topics like the Vietnam War, the race situation, the campus riots. But again, no one called anyone else Hitler. No one accused anyone of racism. Everyone was expected to back up their views with facts.
One of my father's clients owned Parade magazine. His wife and he often entertained politicians and Hollywood people in a salon-like atmosphere at their Brentwood home. Parade relied on gossip, of course, so guests were expected to supply that. But there were always heated debates at the table. The children of this couple were terrifyingly precocious little Leftists who grilled and baited you. And went on to be college radicals while forging alliances that ensured their success in the Democratic Party. But they didn't exclude Republicans like my father from the table. And no one was rude to anyone else just because they disagreed.
We need to get back to this. It's not because of Trump that this kind of civilized rearing of children has disappeared. I saw it back in 2011 way before Trump when a Hollywood producer invited my husband and me to his Montecito home for a family dinner. One of his daughters (a militant vegan who refused to eat the food her parents served) stood up and harangued us guests about how badly Santa Barbara treats the homeless. I rolled my eyes. The daughter stopped, pointed at me, burst into tears and ran out of the house and roared off in her BMW. My husband and I were ordered to leave.
No, the inexcusable anti-social behavior we're subjected to today has nothing to do with Trump. He's just a convenient excuse. It's not even the fault of social media. This behavior is completely the fault of bad “liberal” parents who are too narcissistic to bother to be parents. These parents squawk about wanting to save democracy for their children. But they've created the problem. They've raised children who don't deserve democracy.
Polly,
Your story is fascinating. The “family at the dinner table”reminds me of the movie “The Graduate.” I really relate to this movie, because I grew up in SB in the 60’s and parts of it was filmed here. I used to say the character “Ben” was driving to wrong way on the 101!
I use this movie as an example, because that’s when I think the traditional nuclear family changed forever.
In fact going out on a limb, I think social scientists will point to when the women/mother left the home to pursue a career as to when society started to change…and not for the better.
Democrats forced women out of the home in the 70s under Carter.
Recall they used a pandemic, forced vaccinations, ousted a Republican, brought in Carter and almost immediately inflation and interest rates started climbing at re it’d rates. Lines at gas stations to fill up your car, supply chain issues, etc..,
Just as we saw when COVID hit, out went a Republican in came a Democrat and history repeats.
But now i see children in the workforce more than before helping to pay rent and put food on the table.
Education is already, suffering, now with kids having to be in the workplace what will happen?
Democrats forced women out of the home in the 70s? That's nuts. It's been a fairly steady increase the past 80 years......
Do you recognize the similarities of history from the 70s to current times? Rising interest rates, inflation, supply chain issues, fuel issues blaming the Middle East? Recall Biden blamed Saudi Arabia in the early time of his administration and was snubbed when he personally visited there.
My parents were having a hard time supper I g the family with just my father’s salary after Carter. My mother sought work, which was part time and eventually became full time employment. My siblings& I became latch key kids.
There were more women in the workforce than ever before. With one or both parents trying to clock in their 40 hours of work (at least), many Xers were left to fend for themselves after school.
Appreciate the article, it hits close to home as I was born during the Eisenhower administration. My parents, were lifelong, New Deal Democrats. The ONLY time they voted Republican was for Ike. I still have the “I like Ike” campaign button. My Father too was a WWII vet, who witnessed many horrible things and almost lost his life in the South Pacific.
After the war, my Dad became a civil servant with the US Air Force and remained an adamant Dem as was all his friends and family. True champions for JFK, civil rights, strong military, big government and so on. I wonder what he would say now about his party today? My parents were devout Catholics and believed in church teachings and family. Again, not sure if they would sign off on today’s social construct.
Based on what I know about my folks, I’m not sure they would be welcome in today’s Democratic Party. As Reagan said, “ he didn’t leave the Dems, they left him.”
The Party has certainly gone through some changes, once’s focused on working people, education and civil rights. Now its agenda seems to have morphed into DEI, Gender Identity, Environmental Justice and Grievance. He certainly appreciated the right to peaceful demonstrations, but today’s challenges seem to be addressed “by any means necessary,” whereby violence, intimidation and destruction of property is allowed in order for achieving social justice outcomes.
Obviously, the Republicans are far from perfect, but they have seemed to have morphed from Country Club members to now, the party of working class people.
With the world literally on fire, war in the Middle East, faltering economies and a invasion on our borders, the choice should be clear.
What crazy times, but then again it’s always been crazy times.
Like your parents my mom was a New Deal Democrat but she stayed one until she passed away in 2021. She was a great mom and I never doubted her unconditional love. But when 2016 came and she was mourning Trump's victory, she saw me smiling and said “You didn't.” I nodded. She grabbed her chest and began to wheeze. “I need my medicine - no, don't you dare touch my meds, Polly. Trump! Help, I'm dying!”
I should add that my diva mom was often on the verge of dying but it never stopped her from a good scene. “I gave birth to you. I gave you a membership in the ACLU when you were just a little girl! We boycotted grapes together! I gave you all my love for this.” That was my cue to give her a kleenex. I miss you, Mom. Once there were Democrats.
The funny thing about Trump is his foreign policies in his 4 yrs as president resembled Eisenhower's much more than his MAGA supporters think. Trump is not an isolationist even though many of his followers are.
Politics is now just big business. The rivalry between the GOP and the Dems is Coke vs Pepsi on a bigger scale.
Both Parties do everything possible for:
- Dominance
- Revenue
-‘Customer’ Retention
- Brand Image
- Marketing Strategies
- Expansion
- Profits
Ultimate goal: Control, authority, & influence.
Coke and Pepsi are owned by they same people, Right?
No Bon Bon, they're 2 different companies.
I have followed them for years and back about 2000 I believe the same peoplegroup owns them.
The Hippo would be spot on for Democrats as it is the most deadly animal in the world.
The good old days when there were families, neighbors and values.
Question, do you think fighting a war that brought the country together helped those values and patriotism? Verse Vietnam which seemed to divide the country?
And 9/11 seemed to unify people.
I wonder what will this upcoming war will do?
Subtle humor to make you points. Great.
Nothing like having a joke on them that is based in bedrock reality.
Well said, as always. I also grew up in Fairfield County in Connecticut. I didn't appreciate it much then but I do now.
Merci Frank. I agrée that I have only appreciated growing up in Weston until I returned to Ct. in 1989 after living in Europe for 21 years. Luckily, I found a house in New Canaan and our daughters had a wonderful public education. I fear that would not be the case now. Calla
Frank, good to see your comment. Take care
MAGA (America First) advocates would condemn Eisenhower today if he was president. Eisenhower ratified a series of bilateral and multilateral treaties to contain the influence of Soviet Union and China. He built up the nuclear arsenal and expanded our military capabilities. He prosecuted the cold war vigorously. He even used the CIA to overthrow the Communist regime in Iran, Guatemala and was a big believer in providing foreign assistance to countries around the world. He also sided with South Vietnam and provided them with military assistance which ultimately led to the introduction of US troops in Vietnam.
Just the facts Ma'am, the average donkey lives 30 years and the oldest one on record made it to 64. So your estimation of a 20 year life span is off. An elephant averages 65 years, shorter in captivity, and the oldest ever documented made it to 86. So, your rhetorical 20 to 100 comparison failed here also. Beware exaggeration and obfuscation, the hallmarks of current political discourse. I "get it" you were only 13, but I cannot stress the point enough that honesty and trying our best to tell the truth is the only way we have any choice of getting the nation out of the current quagmire.
Pat, this is more than pedantic and verges on virtue signaling- the 20-100 is appropriate and even poetic- forget the WAPO- lie-ometer On Trump and the scientism that urges a false kind of accuracy and enjoy the beautiful writing of a soul worth treasuring, not correcting-
"Just the facts Ma'am" - Sargent Joe Friday and his Dragnet pals would be proud of you for remembering! :)
Nothing like starting out a piece by calling people you disagree with "Animals". Really sets the tone. I'm pretty sure this piece would have earned you an F back in Fairfield.
Bill W: I'm with you but I'm not sure we should expect anything resembling civility or honesty from this outlet. After all, in a recent Comments column someone wrote, "... This assassination attempt by the deep state and backed by liberals is so in our face as to what they can get away with due to the liberal controlled media and legal system." This statement, despite being rife with obvious lies was nonetheless "Like by Santa Barbara Current."
J. - got a new one I think you might like - 'Commiefornia.' Stretching a bit but you get the idea!
Thoughtful analysis, but I’m talking about the perception the average dope on the street, (including me :) thinks about Communism - control, repression, state dominance - all the stuff the Dems and Blow-Blow Harris is trying to impose upon us.
Thanks to that knucklehead California is a long way from when I was a college kid surfing off the Biltmore pier, and she can't wait to do it to the whole country!
The SS, by their own admission dropped the ball. Like many plane crashes if just one thing was caught in time the disaster would have been averted.
And there is the abuse of speech , the equivocation of “vicious” and “people I disagree with”- you guys are untethered from objective truth- your condemnations are helium-
The idea that what gets put out on this site is in any way objective is laughable. At least it is to anyone who can investigate, parse and digest events without the blinders of partisanship.
Is that an objectively true statement Bill?
Being that the Republican Party has sold its soul to Donald Trump, I’d say a better symbol for the party would be a bloated dead Walrus resembling Trump himself would be a fitting image.
WOW
Calla,
How proud your parents would’ve been to support the thrice married, 34 count convicted felon Republican.
And, lest we forget, who cheated on his wife (who was home with their four-month old son) with a porn star, ducked serving his country during the Vietnam war claiming "bone spurs," mocked a disabled journalist, committed loan fraud for inflated valuations of some of his properties, lied about the 2020 election being stolen (despite the dismissal of most of the 62 lawsuits he filed, even by judged he had appointed), and did nothing (according to Mark Meadows) as insurrectionists, encouraged by him, stormed and defecated in the Capitol while trying to hunt down and hang his Vice President. Yup, I don't think he quite qualifies as an affiliate of the "Party of Lincoln," or of Ike or Ronnie for that matter. Y'all could do a whole lot better.
Are you voting for Harris?
Or how many of his lawyers have been disbarred (Rudy) or are facing disciplinary action - including possible disbarment. John Eastman, Chesebro, Ellis, Powell. So many fine people.