Poll My Finger

By John Summer

The Poll Taker’s “Factual” Misinformation

One of the simplest acts of physical humor is to hold out your hand to someone, extend your finger (preferably your index, not your middle one) and ask them to pull on it.

When they do, you let out a fart.

Now that’s humor.

“Pull my finger.”

Bripppppppp!

Doesn’t get much funnier. Works for my grandchildren anyway.

I know. I know. Immature. Childish. And stupid.

But just watch the cascade of guffaws that roll through the room.

And what is even funnier, is when the pull, is a “poll,” as in “election prediction polls.”

Good grief. Election prediction polls are as rampant as acorns in a boar-infested oak forest. And, as the great Watergate Committee Chairman, North Carolina Senator Sam Ervin, said: “Even a blind hog finds an acorn every now and then.”

But most of the time they don’t.

Just like pollsters.

You’ve got the typical Washington Post and New York Times polls. And every TV network pundit. And Gallup and Pew and AP and RMG and Quinnipiac….

Everyone thinks they’re Nostradamus.

And almost always, they’re wrong.

It’s been my experience during my time covering the news, that polls, predictions, Edgar Cayce séances…. (look him up, interesting dude), have been off. Sometimes by a lot.

Not Always Accurate

And that’s where we are today, as we await the results from the mid-term elections.

Here’s why.

First, liberals love stats. They’re nerds. They have a penchant for wanting to know how people “feel.” Just like most of those who are attracted to the media, journalism, entertainment…

It’s in their genes. They can’t help themselves. They think they’re saving the world.

And so they create various tests to assure themselves that others think the same way they do. What they don’t understand, is that some of the “others” don’t buy into that stuff.

And then you get results that aren’t always accurate.

I’ll give you a comparative example.

When I was active in the broadcast news business, after each newscast I would review what we called an “air check.” It was a tape of the newscast. We could critically review our “performance.” Then adjust as needed.

At one (anonymous!) station where I worked, I watched the air check one night and the image quality was awful. The contrast and detail was so extreme, I looked like Richard Speck, the serial killer. (Look him up. Ugly dude).

So I asked the engineer in sub-control what the deal was. He simply said: “But it looks good on the broadcast analyzer.” He never looked at the actual visual monitor. Just the technical readout.

Based on his data, the picture was clear.

Turns out, the broadcast analyzer was broken.

And here’s why most polls are broken from the get-go. Bad – or no – information in…. bad results out. And what does that mean? Ah, grasshopper, it’s the Alfred Hitchcock “MacGuffin” in the mix.

Common Sense Conservatives

We stealth conservatives have a sense of humor. Liberals don’t. And when you have a silent (but deadly!) sense of humor, you can poke fun at folks without them knowing.

And we be pokin’ with the polls.

I know I do. And I know others do the same. We don’t give them the answers they seek. We tweak… both their stats, and their nose.

And then, when the actual results come in, they don’t understand where they went wrong.

And that’s why I think the polls for the midterms are off, as they trend toward “democrats” (small “d”).

But it takes us common-sense conservatives to make sure they are off. We need to VOTE (if you haven’t already). Please. Use the information on the SB Current site. It’s well researched and helps guide you through the pits and falls of campaign rhetoric… and purposefully deceiving propositions.

VOTE.

Don’t give in to the polls.

Then the finger that gets “pulled,” will be our middle one. And we can let out a massive….

Brrrrrrppppppp!!!!!!

Now that’s humor. Make it happen. I’ll eat a can of baked beans to help us celebrate!

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Ballots are out. Only a few day remain until the Nov 3 election.

If you plan to vote early, start with California Current’s proposition guide and Statewide Candidate recommendations—written from the only point of view that actually pays the bill: the overworked, under-appreciated California taxpayer.

We don’t hand you a cheat sheet and walk away. Every recommendation is backed by clear-headed research. Click the link, read the case, then mark your ballot with your eyes open.

NO on 1. The Con Job

NO on 2. Supersizing California’s Slush Fund

NO on 3. The Forever Tax

NO on 4. Your Money, Their Campaigns

NO on 5. Recall Revenge

NO on 37. Robin Hood in Reverse

NO on 38. Pork Barrel Science

YES on 39. Trust, but Verify

NO on 40. Tax Billionaires Today, Tax Everybody Tomorrow

YES on 41. Sergey’s Silver Bullets

YES on 42. Sergey’s Silver Bullets

YES on 43. Stop Getting Steamrolled by Special Taxes

NO on 44. Bleeding Health Clinics Dry

YES on 45. Pondering Prop 45

Note: Props 41 and 42 share one article.

Governor: Steve Hilton

Lieutenant Governor: Gloria Romero

Secretary of State: Donald P. (Don) Wagner

Controller: Herb Morgan

Treasurer: Jennifer Hawks

Attorney General: Michael Gates

Insurance Commissioner: no good choice, no endorsement

State Superintendent of Public Instruction: Sonja Shaw

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