Happy Pride-Filled Non-Gestating Parent’s Day
(Formally Known as Father’s Day)
Hey y’all. I was thinking lately about Father’s Day and Sunday, 21 June, is fast approaching. I was wondering what version of my better father-self I should be, since I’m a two-spirit and I need to decide which spirit, 1 or 2, gets the better version.
I was leaning toward version 1, but then I thought: “That would mean version 2 would be marginalized.”
Then I circled back and, in the interest of inclusivity, I went for both 1 and 2…. But not necessarily in that order. That wouldn’t be intersectional, as opposed to outer sectional.
Let’s just call it “bi-spirit.”
There.
Done.
So, I settled on New York State’s latest correct term for “father” as a “non-gestating parent” to celebrate my day. Yup, one day… in a month of celebrating every other color of the rainbow, including chartreuse, not to mention puce and sepia. I’m just a plain old toxic, white-privileged dad with kids and grandkids… and my one day of contribution to the world seems to get overshadowed by all the other stuff. But I have pride in fatherhood cuz my kids and grandkids all turned out real good. Well-deserved pride. I celebrate that pride. Not based on some weird alphabet predilection that someone identifies with. Just normal stuff that I actually accomplished. It wasn’t easy. But it paid off with real results. Nothing more satisfying.
I’m proud.
Indeed.
Anyhoo, my personal lived experience notes that whether cisgender (which I totally accept as culturally appropriate), or, if not, then I need to admit implicit bias by choosing 1 over 2, or vice versa. Bio-diversity, you know? My real authentic self. As opposed to in-authentic. God forbid.
This is essential, so as not to create a micro aggression. Then all bets are off. So please, don’t police my tone.
Don’t be systemic.
Systemic be bad.
Now whether you’re a hermaphroditic la tinx, or an androgynous indigenous, or just an aging white hippie chick with green armpit hair, you have my allyship. All BAMES or BIPOCS or any alphabet for that matter, are welcome. It’s your month. But it’s mine too (kind of). Indeed, we are in solidarity. It’s all in the interest of social justice. Not to mention environmental justice. In fact, all justices. Non-gestating parent justice included. But don’t confuse that with the opposite of “neighbor with a uterus” coined by that creepy little semi-dude running for senate in Texas.
Anyway, I trust you will treat this as a safe space and not subject me to being marginalized. Then… I just might have to seek vulnerability reduction underneath a “man-woman-person-they” hole-cover out in the street. That would be an even braver space.
But kind of moist.
So, to sum it all up, I accept my Fatherly privilege with pride.
And to all fathers out there… enjoy our one day.
We all deserve it.
Be proud.
•••
(John Summer is just a proud dad and grandad who is proud to be so. Mighty proud. He is assured that his progeny (that’s “descendants” for the verbally challenged) are well equipped to handle the world ahead of them and use their God-given talents to make it an even better place. That, in the proverbial nutshell, is what life is really all about. Nothing else matters. Except for Father’s Day, of course! The one day for all dads to be proud and celebrate! Proudly. With pride!)
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