Patriot Party Time
by Pat Fish
A Call for a Patriotic Flash Mob
I made a personal vow that the next time I offered a contribution to Santa Barbara Current I would make it something positive.
All too easy to whine and complain, and it does get old.
Especially now when we see the nation making a political turn-around.
Today, as I read the details of the appointments of who will staff the new administration, I am filled with hope.
And I would like to see the people who agree that there is a chance at a better day with the turning of the tide gather in celebration on Inauguration Day.
Monday January 20th, in Washington D.C. Republicans will host the swearing-in ceremony, and I suggest that we here in Santa Barbara ought to have a spontaneous and unsanctioned outburst of patriotic enthusiasm by parading down State Street, as so many have done for so many causes in our city’s glorious and historic past.
Who is with me?
Flash Mobabilia
I have a dream, that we start at high noon at State and Micheltorena and proceed to the sea. A nice downhill incline. To pass through the Lower State Street Death Alley let’s say no cars, but encourage skateboards, bicycles, wheelchairs, sleds, go-carts, wagons, scooters, any other kind of non-motorized vehicle, and dogs of all sizes. If I can find a posse to ride with, I promise to attend on my mighty Tobe Mule, with him decked out in red and white bunting. I’ll especially hope to have some cowboys, cowgirls, and Charros on horseback beside me.
I solicited several of my “legal immigrant” Charro Mexican horsemen pals over the past few weeks, one of whom says that just this week the Fiesta Parade Committee returned the $650 he paid in July for us to be in the 100th Fiesta parade in August this last summer. Just before the parade the organizers told him our group wasn’t welcome. Needless to say, it took a long five months for them to return his check! So, no Spanish Walk stallions and no nun last summer! No “Viva La!”
How much did we love the Fiesta Parade on State Street?
Take back the street!
Now, lest anyone fear we’d end up in the pokey for civil disobedience, we can make it clear to the folks celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. Day that they are welcome to join in. As a politically protected class they will be our buffer against intervention by The Man and incarceration for civil disobedience.
As Ayn Rand wrote half a century ago: “The question isn’t “Who is going to let me?” It’s “Who is going to stop me?”
•••
We’ve been told that if we call it a “parade,” we’d need a parade permit, so let’s just call this a “Walk.”
Better yet, let’s call it a “Flash Mob.”
Yeah; that’s it. A Flash Mob!
And for that matter can’t we imagine, if we want to go full-tilt fantasy, getting Trump alongside me on a mule? Ronald Reagan rode in lots of parades, but alas those were different times.
So, I went in search of Uncle Sam, or maybe even Colonel Sanders (as a stand-in) and flag bearers. Heck, anyone who would come on horseback, mule back, or donkey back. Or anyone else to just show up and go for a walk with unsanctioned enthusiasm. Make it a Big Dog Parade!
Double dare ‘ya.
Oh, But Wait!
My mule wouldn’t want to go it alone with a bunch of people walking, even though he’s a steady fellow in parades. So, for a few weeks I’ve been cajoling equestrians with this happy prospect. No dice. My first choice has a full Paul Revere costume and a great quarter horse, but he’ll be out of town. The Charro lads are legal first-generation hard-working guys and unwilling to do anything that might get them in trouble with the Law. They work six days a week and would have a hard time slipping away from responsibility anyway, so they’re out.
Then I called the man who has organized the Trump Train and other events over the past five years and he kiboshed the entire concept. He pointed out the obvious: that people who are enthusiastic about the events of that day will be in front of their TV or computer screens, in virtual participation mode. And then they’d be going to work. He said trying to organize anything on a weekend is hard enough, but a Monday would be doomed.
Yes, that made sense.
He also said never call it a “parade” or “flash mob,” the protected word is “march.” I suppose for that matter better call it a MLK Jr Day March. The more he talked, the more I could see things were getting problematic.
He pointed out that someone is inviting people to Cody’s for a Watch Party; have breakfast, cheer the swearing-in, and then get on with your day. That would be the most to expect in terms of real-life participation.
Oh dang.
I was I so looking forward to strolling down memory lane – backwards – to the many times I have been in the Summer Solstice Parade and El Desfile Histórico.
I won’t be getting the $39 Statue of Liberty costume on Amazon. I was holding out on buying it, hoping for the past several weeks to wrangle in the one vital compatriot patriot who would brace Tobe Mule and me for the adventure. And of course, as I approached others with the concept, being ever so selective, I’d have to watch out for liberals who want more government control and surveillance in the name of safety. After all, there were people who thought that the annual Polar Bear Plunge leaping into the ocean to start the New Year should be cancelled because permits were not procured, and the Government was not paid its due.
With every article I read about the malfeasance of local bureaucrats, I try to hope for DOGE having widespread success in turning the juggernaut of Government around. Most especially the State of California that those of us of a certain age have watched decline from a Golden past to a sanctuary of frustration. Those of us weather wimps who stubbornly remain in our lovely little city, who watch utilities soar and the street grid collapse, who watch schools fail to teach students to a minimum standard are understandably overwhelmed. But maybe, just maybe, there’s a glimmer of hope on the horizon.
Here’s to the American renegade spirit, may it never die.
Michael Puffer, Esq. Senior Council for Pacific Justice Institute to speak January 11th at Timber’s Roadhouse. Details below.
Good for you Pat, sharing your enthusiasm over our newly elected President. Maybe an inauguration party at Mesa or Timbers instead would work?…I’m down for that!
Sorry about the lefty power base putting the kibosh on your parade. It would seem parade permits in our local SB bubble are ONLY granted to those involved with the following approved movements: Environmental, as in GOO (Get Oil Out!) or some similar, other goofy, stupid, nonsensical bullshit. Sexuality, as in your desire to be with the same sex or to somehow play make believe and change your sex or species into a cat, bunny or some other four legged animal. Abortion, as in being able to “pull the plug” on someone you’ve never even met, even at the time of birth or even if you’re Gay and not interested in having children. Race, as in standing up for others, as long as they’re anything but white and even if they’re involved in committing heinous crimes.
That about covers it, again sorry about your plans for a MAGA parade, but hey, I’ll be celebrating the end of Joe Biden and the most corrupt, feckless, incompetent and criminal administration in American history. That’s right, ringing in the New Year with the welcoming of the Trump administration and making America great again with low taxes, lowering government spending, strong national defense and an economic juggernaut, the likes of which the world has never seen before!
Great Ideas! Love your spirit Pat…