The National Mood Has Changed

By Polly Frost

There’s a sense of exuberance and optimism in the air. Have you noticed it too?

Students are goading their Woke teachers by wearing MAGA hats. NFL players and sorority co-eds are doing the Trump Dance. We might — horrors! — be in for four years of mostly good feelings. It’s like an uplifting scene in one of those Ron Howard movies we all loved in the 1980s, Democrats and Republicans alike, sharing tubs of popcorn.

Even the press is exhibiting a growing acceptance that we’re living in Trump's world now. Jeff Bezos has read the riot act to the staff at his Washington Post, and Dr. Patrick Soon-Shiong (owner of the LA Times) has scared several liberal opinion writers into quitting in protest. The New York Times’ political writer Maureen Dowd's brother did the Trump Dance on Thanksgiving — and, instead of shunning a Trumpian relative the way the Left so often demands, Dowd let him brag about it in her column.

Is it just me, or are men and women even showing signs of getting along again?

It’s all such a high that I wouldn’t be surprised if the national sperm count is finally jetting up after lagging for decades. One day we’ll be looking back proudly at the baby boom of the mid 2020s!

Yet we all know people — friends, co-workers, family, and journalists — who refuse to get with the zeitgeist and are still bursting with outmoded TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome). They certainly had things their way — riots, lawfare, and so much more — for the last eight years, didn’t they? This time around, though, looks like it’s going to be different. After all, who’s really in the mood for burning downtowns any longer? And God knows we’ve all had enough with the “In this house …” yard signs. The TDS-afflicted are going to find themselves in the unfamiliar situation of being surrounded by happy, well-adjusted people cheering the deportations and placing bets about which federal bureau will be eliminated next.

I don’t think the Trump-deranged are going to be able to pump up their social media ratings by expressing their insanity any longer. So, the question arises: What’s a passionate, virtue-signaling, still-angry Democrat to do with all their anti-Trump energy?

Your Gal, Polly, Has Some Ideas

• For the friend who won’t be happy until Santa Barbara County – like San Diego County – declares itself a “Super Sanctuary” for illegals, especially ones who are criminals: Tell them to send in twice the required state income tax as a show of support for the lawsuits Newsom’s promising to bring against the Trump Administration. In fact, urge the really far-gone to demonstrate their leftie credentials by paying your state taxes. They’ll thank you for the opportunity!

• For the CBD-addicted couple who won’t shut up about how Santa Barbara, one of the country’s ritziest beach and retirement towns, should devote 150% of its political energies to the creation of “affordable housing” that’ll never turn out to be affordable: Tell them to kick the paying tenant out of their recently finished ADU and install a homeless person there. Everyone deserves a roof, after all. And there’s a driveway too: what a good opportunity to give a van-dwelling family a permanent parking spot!

• For the male feminist who models himself on Justin Trudeau and worries about how some girl in Texas might need to travel a couple hundred miles to abort her baby: Gift him a series of one-on-one volleyball lessons at East Beach. Being physical while surrounded by Santa Barbara’s most beautiful young athletes should make even the Woke-est of men forget his principles. Then take him to Crushcakes, where he can be part of the “805 Resistance. “There’s nothing that demonstrates your revolutionary bona fides more than stuffing your face with “chocolate ganache drizzle”!

• For the tasting room owner who’s deeply convinced Trump will put Rachel Maddow in a concentration camp: Suggest that she begin a letter-writing campaign to MSNBC, insisting that, despite the disastrously tumbling ratings, Rachel’s salary should be raised. $35 million a year for one show a week isn’t enough to compensate Rachel for the dangers she’s going to be running. In between composing best-selling books, Rachel will no doubt find time to send a personal letter of thanks.

• For the Montecito-dwelling diversity fan who refuses to concede that SB County — 46% non-white — is already plenty diverse: a gift of a Greyhound bus ticket to Memphis, where he can really live out that diversity dream. Alternately, suggest that he sponsor someone from Memphis moving to Montecito. Do your part in bringing down Montecito’s awful “98% white” stat. Keeping TDS Alive!

• And for any and all of the TDS-afflicted: Urge them to send cash to Rob Reiner so he can finally make his long-awaited film “Trump Learned Everything About Dancing from Hitler.” Demand on Reddit and X that Reiner star Robert De Niro, Kathy Griffin, and Bette Midler. Their careers could use a boost, after all.

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Clip, save, and hand out to your TDS friends. The poor things need good reasons to keep rocking with nose rings and blue hair.

See you soon at Crushcakes!